It's Not Working Because It's So Popular!

Audacity. 

Yeah, that’s the word I was looking for. It’s a crazy thing... the way that word just pops into my mind. It’s been that way since about 2008.

It still amazes me that the Bathhouse Barry gang and Jay “Baghdad” Carney are able to come up with the statements they do and manage to keep a straight face. Who knows... maybe they don’t. Maybe (and probably) they’re laughing their asses off the whole time, “Because the sheeple will believe anything!” They’ve proved it.

Stilton Jarlsberg at Hope n’ Change Cartoons says it best. Who am I to try to come up with something better?! So, I won’t. Here’s his blog:

A Little Something To Occupy (Pun Intended) Your Weekend.

You Might Want To Have Something Else Lined Up, ‘Cause This Won’t Take Long.

The object of the game is to destroy American capitalism by having the government take over everything.

Wanna play?

No?

Too bad. 

You’re already playing; you just don’t know it.

By the way... you’re not  winning!

(A wave of the American flag to JonBerg for sending this to me. Thanks, JB!)

Vote For ME!

Why the hell NOT?! (I think I'll use this as my new campaign slogan. Catchy, huh?!)

I’ve probably got about as much sense, and I can be just as big a grease ball, as the rest of the politicians. AND, I have a better platform... NOTHING. 

I’m not going to lie and tell you stuff that you want to hear -- THEN, when I get into office, make a killing off of you. Straight out... if I get elected, it's gonna be ALL about ME.

I've even made you up a bumper sticker (below) that you can use. Just cut it out and slap it on that 4x4 and you’re good to go! (With apologies to Rick Santorum. Sorry, Rick. 

Nothing personal, it's just politics.) 

Why reinvent the wheel? 

See... I’ve saved you money already!

While we’re talking about money, send me any cash you can. It’ll help support my Dr Pepper habit and put diesel in my truck. I take all the major cards (or, whatever else you've got) -- but, I’d rather have cash. Cash is easier to hide from the IRS.

No campaign is complete unless you diss the other guys. And Obimbo is soooo EASY to diss. AND I've already sent this to his "Attack Watch" site (joke of the Internet -- if it's still even up -- bwah-hahahahaha!) so that he and Homeland Security can keep up-to-date with what I'm doing.



While you’re at it, check out the Democrats/Obimbo new info site.

Okay. So, here’s the official disclaimer and stuff you've got to have at the bottom so that it makes it look legit:

You Can Be Really Creative...

...If You Don’t Toss Your Cookies While Having To Work With The Subject Matter.

There’s a Web site that has a contest where contestants use Photoshop to build a picture on a theme that the Web site selects. One of the themes was to build a picture that says “Goodbye to Nancy Pelosi” after she was no longer Speaker of the House. 

The only thing the contestants were given was this picture to work with.


Yep, that's pretty scary, huh?!

This was the winning entry!

By the way -- since Nancy Pelosi is no longer Speaker of the House, she's had to give up her private jet. This means she’ll be flying Southwest from now on because “Bags Fly Free.”

Here’s another gross one... belcho... and I can pretty well tell you that this WAS NOT done in Photoshop; remember who we’re talking about. 

Now -- let your mind run wild. I’ve gotta go wash my eyes out with bleach.

The Idiot Just Makes It So Easy!

Thanks to JonBerg for the contribution.

The Play On Words Isn't Bad, Either.

Driving the Rich Into The Sea.

This was sent to me by JonBerg. It’s out of  The Wall Street Journal and anything that I could possibly say would be anticlimactic.

Megaship ahoy! To escape higher taxes, the wealthy could relocate... to open waters. 

By SCOTT ADAMS  

According to biologists, billions of years ago the first sea creature wiggled onto the beach. This was a pivotal moment in life’s long march from amorphous sea snot into the highest form of mammalian beings -- hedge-fund managers. Many people see that as an improvement, but I’m not judgmental. What we don’t know is why the first sea creatures were so anxious to leave their ocean habitats. My guess is that it had something to do with taxes. 

Reliable people on television have informed me that taxes are the root cause of all behavior. And that means we can predict the future by looking at tax policy. In fact, I hear tax-related predictions every time I accidentally stop thinking about myself long enough to notice that others are talking. What I haven’t yet seen is anyone correctly predicting the future based on tax policy. Apparently that burden has fallen to me.

Somewhere in Washington our leaders are furiously planning an economic death spiral. It will start innocently with a modest tax increase on the rich, the same way you might pluck a chicken to give it fair warning before you barbecue it. The final phase will involve a tax rate on the top 1% of earners that is so high it can’t be described without the Viking word for pillage. I base my prediction on the fact that the country is out of money, poor people don’t have any, rich people do, and the middle class has almost figured out how voting works.

In the old days, every member of the middle class thought he or she had a chance of becoming rich. In that sort of optimistic environment, you don’t want to urinate in the pool that you hope to someday swim in. But lately there’s more fatalism in the air, thanks to our crushing debt and the hobo militias that I assume are forming all over the country. The middle class will soon trade their unrealistic dreams of wealth for the opportunity to transfer money from total strangers to themselves -- a process often referred to as fairness. That’s when the rich will get serious about an escape plan, just like the brave little sea creatures billions of years ago. 

But where can the rich go? Their choices include nations that have swarms of malaria-infested mosquitoes, bad TV, deadly climates, decapitation issues, French people, bland food and other signs of inhospitableness. When you consider these factors plus wars, pollution, terrorism, floods, droughts, earthquakes and tornadoes, I think you’ll agree that most of the surveyed land on Earth is unfit for fancy people. 

This is where technology trends come in. We’ve already entered the era of megaships, including plans for island-size vessels with permanent homes and businesses. We’ll soon see rapid advances in high-speed Internet for seafaring vessels, floating fisheries, hydroponic gardens, energy generated from waves, and desalination. The only other element needed to trigger mass migration of the wealthy to the oceans is a financial motive. If a billionaire can escape taxation by leaving his dirt-based country behind, he’ll save more than enough money to pay for his floating fortress of awesomeness. 

Out at sea, you can declare your own sovereign state or form alliances with other island-vessels. Taxes would be a thing of the past. Any government-like decisions can be handled through a Facebook page. The only downside would be listening to Ron Paul nagging you to use Twitter instead to keep government small. 

Pirates would be a cause of concern, obviously. But if a billionaire has enough money to buy an island-size vessel, he probably has enough to outfit it with a drone air force, radar, sonar, laser guns, torpedoes, ship-to-ship missiles, and other technology so cool that just thinking about it raises my testosterone count. 

If some country with a military tells you to move from its favorite part of the ocean, you can turn off your stabilizers and let the current do the rest. Your island home would be like a Gandhi that floats. (That’s not redundant, because I’m almost positive that Gandhi would go straight to the bottom of the pool if he tried to tread water.) 

And no nation is going to try to conquer an island vessel for its treasure, because most of the residents’ riches will be invested in financial instruments, not stuffed in mattresses on the ship. For a fully equipped military, the cost of attacking an island vessel would exceed the value of the designer handbags and gold toilets it could seize. 

The ocean is the safest place on Earth if you play it right. Super hurricanes caused by climate change (allegedly!) are no problem for ships that can relocate at any time. And droughts can’t hurt you if you get the desalinization technology right. There’s almost no problem so big that it can’t be avoided by a billionaire in the middle of an ocean. 

You might doubt my vision of the future, but let me ask you two questions: 1) How big is Larry Ellison’s yacht? 2) Does his Japanese-style house have paper walls for realism or to make it lighter because he plans to someday lift it with helicopters and move it to his boat?

Shades of the 1995 Kevin Costner post-apocalyptic science fiction film, Waterworld?

My Ambition While Obimbo Is...

... WHATEVER he is, is to make his newly launched web site... ATTACK WATCH.

Attack Watch is Obimbo’s answer to the Nixon era of the 'enemies list.' Yep, it’s a site designed to ‘fight the smears’ against the ‘president’ (you don’t know HOW HARD IT IS for me to use the term, ‘president.’)

Attack Watch was first brought to my attention by, none other than, FORGER - Racist TEAhadi. Thanks, FORGER! (By the way, FORGER’S web site is... uhhh... probably X rated by some. Aw hell, I’ll give him XXX! So, consider yourself warned.)

Attack Watch is a site where any liberals that you might know, can rat you out.

Actually it’s a pretty neat site ‘cause it’s FUN to play with. You can go to Attack Watch.com and leave all kinds of messages and links -- that link back to the idiot and his staffs’ pages. However, like what's said below, irony is lost on these people.

The way I did it was to give ‘em the site that was smacking Obimbo ( I used his own, “http://www.barrackobama.com”) and below it the message, “You know how you know Obimbo is lying? His lips are moving... the site is full of lies!!” Then I put Obimbo’s email address (comment@whitehouse.gov) where it says “Your email address.”

Here are some testimonials and other creative ways to do it: 

I logged in and reported myself for telling the truth about the SCOAMF. I am waiting for further instruction... @ http://tiny.cc/attackwatch2 

BTW, Irony is lost on these people... http://tiny.cc/kte1r

(Note from M4e: you’ll have to go to FORGER’S site to see what SCOAMF means. But, you GOTTA go to the above links... they’re great.) 

I told them I touch myself while thinking of Frank Marshall Davis. No sign of the black helicopters yet, but I’m hopeful. 

The Daily Caller is one of 19 accounts -- and only one of seven news organizations -- followed by Attack Watch on Twitter. 

The first seven Twitter accounts followed by Attack Watch were people or offices associated with the White House or Obama’s reelection campaign. The next two, in order, are Drudge Report and The Daily Caller. 

I really, REALLY want to be in that number!

Hey... I think I hear a black helicopter touching down in the front pasture!

I Would Have Really Liked This Guy.

In lieu of flowers...

This was in the Rome, GA News Tribune. It just doesn’t get any better than this!

Thanks, JB, for passing this along. I’m saving it and passing it on to my next of kin. I want them to know what my final request is, should I kick off while that nappy headed little girl is in office.

With Obimbo In Office, Emergency Preparedness Is Essential... Even For Storms!

The Redneck Guide to Emergency Preparedness 

By: Mike Piccione (08/26/2011) 

Hurricane Irene is crawling towards the east coast of the United States. The aftermath of a hurricane kind of reminds me of what happens when you put a hungry baby in a strip bar: everyone ends up confused and no one gets what they wanted. 

Immediately after an emergency, and you have seen this time and time again, the first people to be up and running and rescuing others are the rednecks. It’s not the Harvard MBA’s that are pulling people out of flooded homes with jon boats. It’s the rednecks. 

In order to make the lofty claim that you are able to write on rednecks you have to have some redneck credentials. It took some time to find out I had redneck in me. I grew up working on farms, fishing for bullhead, the priest let me put my .22 near the front steps of the church so I didn’t have to waste time going back home to get it after services. To me all this was normal. It’s what kids did. 

Then my self-actualizing redneck awaking occurred. I was a young Marine, living is South Carolina and I was transferred to the Pentagon in Washington DC. When I arrived I rented a room in Arlington, VA with a house full of city folk. One day I was out of food and traffic was so bad I didn’t want to take two hours to get to a grocery store and back just for something to eat.  So instead of going to the store, I grabbed my pellet gun, put 10 pumps into it and went outside to the street and shot a squirrel. Dressed it on the spot and a few minutes later it was frying in a pan. That’s when the city folk roommates explained to me that what I just done qualified me as redneck. At least I had dinner. 

When it hits the fan and there is trouble a redneck will always come out on top of the situation. What is their secret? Preparedness. And this is how they do it…  

Post Continues on uscca.us

When it hits the fan, I'm sure glad we have rednecks in the U.S.! With all the money we’re throwing at the rest of the world (plus Moochelle's trips to... EVERYWHERE,) there sure won’t be any left for OUR aid. We’re gonna HAVE to depend on rednecks to haul our ass out! 

Obama Blames DC Earthquake On Bush’s Fault.

(Paid for by JimmyCarter08.com) 

East Coast earthquake rocks nation’s capitol, halting dollar printing presses 

A 5.9-strong earthquake rocked the East Coast ..., with aftershocks felt from New York to Florida. Official buildings throughout Washington D.C. were evacuated, emptying the nation’s capitol of bureaucrats and causing a momentary but notable economic stimulus to be felt across the nation, dwarfing the aftershocks of the quake itself. 

At the Federal Reserve, the massive printing presses that churn out an endless stream of bailout money shuddered to a halt, causing a pause in food inflation but panicking bailout recipients who are now completely dependent on government money for their existence. Meanwhile at the Pentagon, internal emails revealed a flurry of questions asking for any intelligence on whether the earthquake was an "act of terrorism" and if so, could Mother Nature be arrested under the Patriot Act and held in Guantanamo Bay?

The real shockwaves of the day, however, were felt economically as runaway debt spending under the Obama administration racked up $3 million per minute, meaning the three-minute earthquake cost the nation $9 million in clock time, not even counting any actual damage. Under Obama’s leadership, the national debt has increased by $4 trillion -- a number that should measure 9.0 on the Richter scale of runaway debt, if anyone were actually paying attention.

Post Continues on naturalnews.com 

How bad is Obimbo's approval rating? So low that America is seriously considering Mitt Romney.

Special Notice: Obama To Vacation On Martha's Vineyard Following A Job Well Done!

This was just TOO GOOD to pass up. Follow this link for all of it: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2761810/posts

(I had to program this in HTML off of my iPhone, so if it doesn't come out just right... Sorry 'bout that!)

 We bring you this special announcement courtesy of the White House which has informed that American plebs that following a fantastic job well done, in which the market is now back to pre-QE2 levels, unemployment is near record highs, delays for presidential press meetings compare with Newark airplane take offs, pessimism is at record highs, America's credit rating has just been downgraded, the country was nearly bankrupted, and sales of end of the world provisions are through the roof (not to mention ammunition), president Obama is taking a well-deserved vacation at Martha's Vineyard at the end of the month.

From Bloomberg: "President Barack Obama will vacation with his family in Martha's Vineyard at the end of this month as he's done in years past, the White House said Wednesday, despite the weak economy and negotiations on the nation's debt problem.

Press secretary Jay Carney defended Obama's plans to take a break even as he's pledged urgent action on those issues. "I don't think Americans out there would begrudge that notion that the president would spend some time with his family," Carney said." Spot on, Jay, spot on.

"Carney added that there's really no such thing as a presidential vacation since Obama will travel with his aides, receive regular briefings on national security and the economy and be able to return to Washington if necessary. "The presidency travels with you. He will be in constant communication," Carney said at the White House briefing. Last August, the president, Michelle Obama and their two daughters spent 10 days at a rented farm on the wealthy island retreat in Massachusetts.

Our advice: buy ELY stock: with the market about to implode, the president is sure to make at least one company's year.
 

It’s Not Obimbo...

...but it sure sounds a lot like something he’d do!

Outrage of the Week

This week’s outrage comes to us from Baltimore, Maryland, where mayoral candidate Otis Rolley is proposing a $1.00 per bullet tax be levied on all ammunition purchases in the city of Baltimore as part of his "crime plan.

According to a July 19 article appearing on WBALTV.com, Rolley said, "This is not a revenue enhancement tool. It’s a ‘make it difficult for you to buy bullets in the city’ tool." Rolley also stated that the proposed tax would cause a decrease in "random firings that too often happen around holidays."

Hmm. Tax the law-abiding citizens of the city and make it prohibitively expensive for them to purchase ammunition for self-defense, and reduce penalties for illegal drugs. That’s his idea of a crime plan? That’s outrageous.

That’s outrageous?!  That’s pretty STOOPID, too!

 

Par for the course, though.

And That's What I Love About The South!

NYC rationing toilet paper at Coney Island

Hey, buddy, can you spare a square?

The city is so hard up for cash that it’s rationing toilet paper in women’s public restrooms -- to the point where bathroom attendants are doling out a few measly squares per patron -- along the world-famous Coney Island boardwalk.

The Post witnessed stone-faced Parks Department employees leave toilet-paper dispensers empty last week and instead force astonished female beachgoers to form "ration lines" in the bathrooms.

Regina Ballone, 25, of Brooklyn visited a boardwalk bathroom at West 16th Street Wednesday and was "grossed out" at the thought of someone else handling her toilet paper.

"Never in my life have I experienced anything like this," she said. "I walked toward a stall, and a bathroom attendant stopped me by shouting, ‘Hey, mami! There’s no toilet paper here,’ and she whipped out a big roll for me to grab some."

Beachgoers also have been forced to line up for their paltry allotment of the city’s cheap, single-ply toilet paper at the boardwalk’s other women’s restroom at Stillwell Avenue.

Benedikte Friis and Ann Damgaard, both 22, from Denmark, said they enjoyed visiting Coney Island last week -- except when it came to the bathrooms.

"It’s very weird that someone decides how much paper you get because they don’t know what situation you’re in," said Friis, 22, laughing in disbelief. "You might need more!"

Toilet-paper rationing isn’t an issue in the men’s rooms -- but only because they apparently don’t have any to ration. The toilet paper was gone whenever a The Post reporter went to inspect the men’s rooms.

The Parks Department refused to say how much it budgeted for toilet paper and other supplies, with a spokeswoman saying only, "Bathroom supplies are stocked daily, and our budget for these supplies is consistent.

"There’s no need to ration, and we’ll make certain our staff does not do so," added the rep, Meghan Lalor.

But bathroom attendants privately insisted that the department isn’t adequately stocking the boardwalk with enough bathroom supplies, which is why they are forced to ration what they have.

Dianna Carlin, owner of the Lola Star Boutique, said the bathrooms should be in better shape considering boardwalk merchants agreed to pay the city fees this summer to keep them open longer.

"I gave $1,000 but would’ve been better off buying $1,000 worth of toilet paper and dropping it off," she said.

Comments:

• The (sic) can’t afford TP, but they can afford someone to hand it out.

• Just wait until we get universal health care, it will be priceless!

• This is Socialism at it’s best. Just another sign of the Hope and Change times. So how do all of you New Yorkers like Hope and Change now? Give Obama a second term, like you gave the Socialist, Bloomberg a third term, and you’ll all be waiting in line for toilet paper at the supermarkets. Boy oh boy, something to look forward to with Obama.

• It would be useful if they made special TP with Obama’s face on it - It would get more use!

• Ah, yes, the joy and prosperity of Obamanomics. Don’t worry though...the impending food shortages will soon negate the requirement to wipe.

• So let’s see...can’t afford toilet tissue for the women, but we somehow found $27 MILLION to start replacing all the street signs in NYC to lower-case letters, probably because the upper case ones seem to be "shouting" and we don’t want anyone’s feelings to be hurt.

• Take a look at Obamacare... if they can’t afford toilet paper what’s going to happen when 300 million people need health care. Access and procedures are going to be handed out like single ply sheets of toilet paper.

• The USSR used to do this back in the day. I remember watching the news stories of ration lines for everything from food to shoes. NYC has done good, comrades.

• And that shows how bad a shape we are in!!!
 

They told me to laugh... things could be worse.

So, I did.

Sure enough, things got worse!